Okay,  I feel silly for writing my last journal entry.  I was VERY depressed at the time.   I had been working on a project for work for three weeks, almost round the clock, and had not made any head way.  Then finally after it was all said and done, a simple "change" that I had no control over ended up fixing all my work issues.  Talk about annoying frustrating and down right stupid.

So to elaborate a bit on my LAST entry.  My wife and I have been looking for a house, without much luck yet, hopefully soon, but I don't want to rush into a house just cause I want to move out of the in-laws sooner.

I also had a very long thought the other night about "what does shrinking really mean to me?"  Well this was a very interesting question, and one I had not really put much thought into.  A few years back I would have told you it was because when women shrink their clothing falls off and you get a free PEEP show hehe.  Course now I think to me it represents a bit more than that.  Partly due to the fact that I HATE VORE, I hate Violent "sexual" themed stuff (I dont considered light spanking violent I see it as playful mind you, I am talking actually pain)  So I cannot stand some of the work I see where people are in blenders, or being eaten, smashed, crushed, or defected upon.  Cause to me shrinking is more like a personification of two major things.  One being my playful side,  reducing someone down to play with them is erotic and fun.  The second is being small and having someone who loves you be there with you to help you through tough times.  I have been through my share of shit, as anyone has or will sooner or later in life, so its a nice thought that you have someone to lean on.  Now that doesn't mean I like to be taken care of, cause I don't I just like that mental protection that is harder to keep yourself up on.  I guess a third tiny reason is childhood fascination with shrinking but what ever.

So you probably wonder where that came from....  eh.  I have been struggling with art of late.  I realize that now I have a wife, and a very busy life, that my art has suffered greatly.  Mostly due to the fact the entire reason I started to draw back a long time ago was because it allowed me to express my own sexual frustration.  Now that is not a problem in my life I find I realized that I find my own work (epically my "short stories") to be a very shallow and silly thing to have done (though it was fun ha ha).  Now I find that if I start writing "sexual" stories I end up stopping realizing that outside of DA I will never share something like that.  So I have been struggling with where to go from here.

So now that I probably have spun a few people up lets hear what you have to say.

As for other things, if you are looking to digital pain, need some tips, or simple ideas on stuff you should visit [link] have been following this for a while and I find that these lessons are great tips for using digital painting tools.  They are not drawing lessons, just tips on using tools.

Thanks for the support and I hope to get my head cleaned up so I know what to do.

Iztric